I don’t give a single fuck about outsiders studying traditional medicine and healing practices to prove that they’re “real”.
Cultural traditions that have kept communities flourishing for centuries, if not millennia, deserve to be treated with dignity and respect on their own instead of being compared to Western standards for medicine.
Medical and mental health professionals should be open and willing to working with their patients’ spiritual and cultural leaders and the like in order to ensure that their patients receive the best possible treatment, in terms of both medical and spiritual health.
Patients shouldn’t have to sacrifice their cultural traditions for their health or vice versa.
when you think of unicorns, what do you picture? a sunny forest glade full of snow-white pointy horses prancing around and farting glitter everywhere? well, that’s very Lisa Frank of you and all but YOU’RE WRONG. because (unlike dragons) unicorns actually do exist! but they don’t prance about in the forest harassing virgins.
no, they inhabit the icy waters of the far nothern seas, gorging on deep-sea squid and occasionally getting eaten by Polar Bears!
they may not be magical, but they’re rad as hell! it’s-
they PROBABLY don’t harass virgins, anyway. it’s not like there’s studies on that.
the Narwhal is a toothed whale that lives in the frozen wasteland of the arctic circle. their name is really really fun to say, especially if you draw it out. narwhaaal. try it! narwhaaaaal. fun! their name comes from the Old Norse “Whal”, meaning “Whale”, and “Nar”, meaning “Corpse”.
yup, the name literally means “corpse whale”. this is probably because early viking explorers thought that the Narwhal’s mottled grey back looked like a drowned sailor who’d been in the water for a while. gross! vikings were not even in the general vicinity of messing around.
unless we’re talking about the football team! har! SPORTS.
Narwhals max out at about 18 feet long and 3,500 lbs, putting them firmly in the category “smedium”. (we’re talking about whales here, remember.) they are closely related to the Beluga whale, which will get its own article at some point. but the most remarkable thing about Narwhals is their magnificent and dubiously magical tusk.
the tusk’s gentle spiral and soulful luster make it look exactly like the unicorn horns of legend (more on this later), but it’s actually… a really fucked-up tooth! (surprise!) that’s right, Narwhals have exactly two teeth in their weird beaky mouths, kind of where your canine teeth are in your own mouth. and in males and about 15% of females, one of these two teeth just goes completely fucking nuts and grows straight out of the Narwhal’s face.
and you thought hangnails were bad.
this tooth-turned-tusk is not exactly a compact accessory, either. this dental nightmare can be ten feet long, or over half again the length of the entire Narwhal! (imagine their toothpaste budget. yikes!) this tusk is light, flexible, and fairly sharp, though it’s too fragile for the Narwhal to use as a weapon. (humans sometimes make swords out of them, but these are really just for decoration. “hey, look at me! I have sword made out of whale face! fancy!”)
so what are these tusks actually used for, if they ain’t for stabbin’? well….
we don’t actually know for sure.
take note kids, there are still mysteries at large in the world.
scientists used to think that male Narwhals used these tusks to duel for females, but a) no one’s ever seen two Narwhals stabbing each other, b) the tusks are way too fragile for fighting anyway, and c) why would some female Narwhals have tusks, then? (unless WHALE LESBIANS). but recent studies have revealed that the tusk is just PACKED with nerve tissue, revealing a very surprising possible use for this overgrown tooth.
basically, scientists are now thinking that the Narwhal’s tusk may be an enormous antennae that can sense everything from pressure to water temperature and salinity. imagine if you knew every time the pack ice was about to freeze over because your tooth told you! it’s a pretty weird function, but it works just fine for the Narwhal.
if you ask real nice, they’ll give you the time and temperature.
this ability to sense when seawater is about to freeze would actually be very useful for the Narwhal, because they’re a bunch of ice-spiting daredevils even by arctic standards. Narwhals rely on pack ice to protect them from Killer Whales and Polar Bears, their main predators. And while scooting around under gigantic ice sheets is an effective way to keep predators off your defenseless fleshy tail, it can all go south pretty fast if your breathing holes freeze over unexpectedly.
but Narwhals are well-equipped for this icy lifestyle! aside from their wondrous tusks, they have a thick layer of blubber under their skin to keep them warm. a LOT of blubber. like, up to 40% of their entire body mass! they need the insulation, because they regularly dive nearly 5,000 feet into the frozen depths in search of the squid and deep-sea fish that they eat.
talk about a chilly lifestyle.
but let’s talk about unicorns for a bit! Europe has been obsessed with pointy magical horses since the Middle Ages, and they feature heavily in stories and art even today. of course, unicorns are a fake made-up animal and not real, but Middle-Ages Europeans didn’t know that. and it’s a factor that Norse traders, who damn well knew what a Narwhal was, took heavy advantage of.
Narwhal tusks sold as ‘unicorn horns’ were worth more than their weight in gold to European Royalty. seriously. in the 16th century, Queen Elizabeth I was given a carved and bejeweled Narwhal tusk ‘unicorn horn’ that was worth as much asan entire fucking castle at the time. Norse traders made out like bandits for CENTURIES, thanks to the Narwhal. I bet they laughed all the way to the bank.
not that Middle-Ages European Royalty didn’t deserve it.
but Narwhals aren’t doing so well these days, and it’s because they’re incredibly vulnerable to climate change. the sea ice is freezing over later and later every year, leaving Narwhal populations who depend on this ice cover vulnerable to predators and starvation.
there are still over 100,000 Narwhals in the northern seas, but these real-life sea unicorns need protection from climate change to continue to thrive. hopefully, humans can act soon enough to keep the arctic frozen and the Narwhal swimming free. because a world without Narwhals is not a world that I want to live in.
they’re better than unicorns because they’re real.
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- National Geographic img2- imgdealix img3- National Geographic Kids img4- Yandex.com img5- World Wildlife Fund img6- travelandliesure.com img7- Warped Speed img8- eclecticeccentricity
On April 26, 2019, the Waorani Indians won their judicial struggle against the landing of the oil companies in the Amazon jungle of Ecuador.
A court in Puyo, the capital of Pastaza, issued a ruling of first instance in favor of the indigenous people on Friday, recognizing that the right to free and informed prior consultation and self-determination of the peoples was violated in the face of oil exploitation in the area. .
Its settlement is 40 minutes by plane from Shell, the town that adopted the name of the European multinational that operated in the province of Pastaza and is a symbol of the penetration of oil activity in the Amazon.
Hunters by tradition, the Waorani (or Huaorani) see themselves as guardians of the forest. As a warrior people they have asserted their ancestral weapons in defense of their codes of honor, but above all of the barely explored territory that inhabit the Amazon.
With the support of other Wao, the Indians of Nemompare and the surrounding area went to court to prevent the oil companies from entering.
With some 4,800 members, the Waorani own about 800,000 hectares of jungle in Pastaza, Napo and Orellana, a small part of the Ecuadorian Amazon basin. The law recognizes the indigenous jurisdiction, but maintains the power of the State over the subsoil.
For its part, the government claims to have the green light to call the oil companies thanks to a consultation made in 2012. However, the Indians indicated that officials then arrived by plane and obtained the endorsement with deception, food and refreshments.
daydreamdreamer asked:
I'm packing in prep for a move and came across a letter you sent me and it made me smile :) I know we don't talk much anymore, but I hope you're doing well. <3
AWAAAA darlin’~ Thank you for the note, I wanted to send a quick reply bc otherwise adhd will eat all my executive function.
SO
I love u and think of u also and my life is really different now and its REALLY AMAZING and yeah. <333333 I hope I’ll get my brain to let me write a longer something, but this will do for now.
You make me smile, I’m doing better than well, and I hope things are working out for you too.
the only reason ppl wanted a black widow movie was cause for the longest time she was the only female superhero in the mcu but now we got plenty and scarjo is not as beloved as she was back then please just make a valkyrie movie
there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.
like this one dude just made a fake taxidermy and spread it around as a hoax for a good ass while and it lead to this really cool fantasy creature and i am genuinely dissapointed that it never gets used in anything
THE BOY
Rabbirds, by the amazing @tkingfisher/Ursula Vernon (source).
The lack of skvaders is particularly frustrating when you realize it forms the third point of a wonderful cryptid trifecta.
You got the jackalopes, which are rabbits with antlers.
And you got the wolpertingers, which are rabbits with antlers and wings.
And then… what? Do you escalate? That’s unbalanced, those two rabbit cryptids don’t have the same number of extra things, the wolpertinger is clearly the jackalope But More.
BUT with the skvader on the other side, balance is restored. Antler rabbit, winged rabbit, winged antler rabbit. It’s a classic Venn diagram of imaginary lapine beasts, and it’s only complete if you acknowledge the fucking skvader.
Good thing Ursula’s got our back, at least.
This is a really excellent point and I applaud your advancements in Cryptid Theory.
What the world thinks angels are: soft, dainty women with long, flowing hair. Cute wings and a lil’ golden halo. Delicate.
Biblical angels: EYES ALL AROUND YOU. DO NOT BE AFRAID. FACE OF A LION AND A BULL. I SAID DO NOT BE AFRAID. EYES LIKE TORCHES AND THE VOICE OF A MULTITUDE. SERIOUSLY DO NOT BE AFR-
Thin people actually think they’ve ‘earned’ their bodies. They honestly believe their thinness is a product of their own hard work, restriction of food and exercise. People who were just born thin, eat a normal diet and go to yoga twice a week think that that’s what it takes, and cannot fathom that there are fat people out there doing the same amount of exercise or more, eating the same or (in a lot of cases) a more restrictive diet and yet remain fat.
When offered a brownie thin person would joke “oh you want me to get fat” (let’s not even touch on how they think it’s somehow bad), but they honestly think eating a brownie or liking sweets and having them every day would actually make them fat.
Like, honey, you’re a size two. You can live off brownies for a month and not move and you’ll gain at best a couple of pounds. That’s how your body works. Some bodies work like that. Others don’t.
There’s a scientific study out there that found that thin people on average eat more than fat people. Yet they remain thin. They work office jobs, and go to yoga twice a week, or they’ve romanticized going to gym for a booty blasting workout and they think that this is the hard work they’re puttig in, and that if they stop, they will pretty much overnight, automatically rocket into size 20.
Even though there are plenty examples of thin people not liking exercise while being foodies and remaining thin, they will still claim that ‘it all burns off in the hard work of taking pictures for Instagram’. Or some shit. They continue to eat fast food on the same exact rate as fat people, and they drink alcohol, which is extremely high in calories, yet they think that yoga and kale salad and a smoothie the next day solve all their problems, and fat people are just too unintelligent and lazy to do exactly that.
There are thin people being foodies and hating exercise and drinking and temaining thin, and there are thin people being gymrats and counting calories and being vegan and remaining thin and thin people an mass still don’t see anything contradictory to their gospel in those kinds of thin people coexisting, while completely disproving everything we are told about diets. It’s not about a diet, diets don’t work.
Models will claim in interviews that they have to restrict themselves severely and workout dawn till dusk just to keep up the rare body type the lottery of genes has granted them and has no intention of taking away, workout or no workout. And then they die of malnourisment.
Thin people turn to fat people and tell them to follow the diet and workout for years, because they believe, ultimately, that all the body types stem from one thin one, or a couple of types of a thin one, so there must be a way to reach it. If they have that body type naturally, they feel entitled, they feel like they tried hard enough to reach it, even if by doing virtually nothing, and other fat people are not trying hard enough.
It’s akin to a person born rich telling a poor person to try harder to win the lottery of capitalism. I’m not even talking about billionaires, it’s the same mindset in upper middle class, who believe that by being born, stepping into all the doors that are open to them and literally not bankrupting themselves in a system built to prevent that, they’ve done some hard labour and deserve that pat on the back, and a brownie, that’s their guilty pleasure, alongside cocaine or some shit.
It’s an untrue, entitled mindset that’s harmful for everyone involved, including models and thin people who feel guilty for eating, and to fat people who often themselves think the same way, that if they work hard enough, they can win the lottery of genetics.
And it takes so much hard work to break free from that mindset.
Thiiiiiiiiiiiiis
Different bodies partition energy different ways for various reasons. Two people can eat the exact same diet and have the same activity levels, but their bodies will partition energy two completely different ways. We need to recognize that, we need to understand that. It’s been completely freeing for me to learn this.
I get really confused when americans, when talking about universal health care are like ‘yeh but it’s not free sweaty :) :) you have to pay it through taxes :) so gotcha!!’
and I’m like ….???? That’s the whole point??? Everyone pays their fair share so that no one has to be turned away because they don’t have insurance??? And no one has to set up a Fundraiser page just so that they DONT DIE???? So people don’t put off going to the doctor because they’re scared of going bankrupt?? Because healthcare is a RIGHT and should be free at the point of access?!?
“So no one has to be turned away” she says hahaha go to a universal health care country and get a necessary operation in less than a few years and come back and talk shit.
Look at the cure rates compared to mortality rates in universal health care countries and compare them to ours, then talk shit.
Tear your ACL in a universal health care country and see what the people say if you should go to their hospitals or go to an American hospital, then talk shit.
2010. I’d been feeling a bit ill. Work was going nuts, so I figured it was stress. Pretty good call considering a week later work fired their entire IT department (of which I was part).
But then I got sicker. And it turned out I had cancer.
Burkitt’s lymphoma, stage 4a. It had spread into my brain and spinal column. 90% cure rate, but I needed nine months of chemo - and not the outpatient chemo, nope, talking multiple week stays per round of the magrath protocol. Drugs were about 10k an IV bag. I was unemployed. And there were complications.
Thankfully I live in a country with universal healthcare. And it didn’t cost me a goddamn cent to save my life. I’m now officially past the five year mark to move me from “remission” to “Cured”.
I’ve lived in a universal healthcare country my entire life. And I’ve seen the US system in action. Your system is fucked. Straight up fucked. You’ve got fucking Dickensian shit going on there, people dying on streets from preventable causes or ending up broke for breaking a hip. Your health insurance companies have you by the balls and people like you are begging them to squeeze harder. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
“But but but TAXESSSSSSSSS”
yeah no shit. That story above? Happened when I was 32. I’d spent 14 years of my life paying those fucking taxes that funded the system that saved my life. And guess what? Now I’m cured, I’m…Back..at work..And have been for several years…earning waaaay more money and paying back into the system.
This shit doesn’t exist in a vacuum, dickhead. You’re not feeding some imaginary pack of leeches, you’re paying forward on your own damned healthcare so you don’t have to argue with an insurance company while trying to heal.
i also don’t get why americans can’t wrap their heads around the fact that universal healthcare is actually cheaper
like yeah your taxes might go up (hell, take a chunk out of the military budget, they might not even change) but you won’t have to pay ridiculous health insurance premiums. it’s a net saving, dumbasses.
